Funny Stupid People

Some things are just so ludicrous. Now this is not about the pure religion of Islam which I respect and have nothing against (and I also don't wish for a thunderous jihad to be brought upon my head). I'm talking about certain arseholes and idiots of that religion, they would be pathetically hilarious if they weren't so dangerous.
So there's this lady who's been charged by the Islamic courts in Sudan for breaking an Islamic law. What did she do? She named a Teddy Bear, Mohammed! Now get this: "...Sudan's top clerics (...) labelled her actions part of a western plot against Islam." FOR NAMING A TEDDY BEAR MOHAMMED FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!! YOU PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING STUPID, GET THAT?! Sad thing is she faces six months jail, 40 lashes or a fine.
There are some very interesting comments here, supporting the lady, many of them from Muslims, (and yes there are one or two arseholes too, as they are everywhere)

Lord of the Things

As an experiment and as an extension of last week's experience, I'm trying another alcohol-free night. I'm completely recovered from the cold but I have taken this decision because I heard it would actually be beneficial and very good for my 'elf; that would be Arnalrond Slimbow who lives in the sage bush; and also my financial 'elf, Alfiluiul Countindosh, who has a small office in the rhododendrons.

It's 21:55 and I'm feeling fine. Very very very thirsty, but fine. I wonder how Arnalrond and Alfiluiul are getting on, feeling much better I hope, if my experiment is working.

I just know that I'm not an alky, because at this moment I'm not thinking "GAAAARRGH! I REALLY NEED A BEER!!", I'm just thinking, "Hmmm, a cold beer right now would be mighty fine", you see, I'm not even thinking it in capital letters with an exclamation mark.

22:05, still fine. Maybe I should try drinking water.

Well I'm off for a huff 'n' puff with a long meerschaum and a serious talk with my toadstools, they've been misbehaving lately.

Something Wyrd this way Comes

In the wee hours (that's the time I have to get up to take a wee, prostrate stuff you know) I was awoken by the strangest of noises, it sounded like several people were hooting on those football fan hooter things all at the same time, one would trail off while another would continue, only it couldn't have been people because each was very prolonged, no-one has that much wind in 'em, or perhaps I could describe it as several extremely loud low hums. It occurred to me that it sounded exactly like a squadron of UFOs passing overhead. When it was over, I think 2 or 3 minutes or maybe much less, maybe just a minute or so, but I don't know how long it had been going on before I woke up (I'm a very light sleeper so I guess just a matter of seconds), there was complete silence, none of the usual dogs barking, no night time car in the street. The silence lasted for another three minutes then I heard two more distinct hums but coming from further off in the distance. I was definitely awake and not dreaming because I thought "What the fuck is that?", a most certain thought that one does not have if dreaming or in a half sleep/half awake mode. About half hour later I summoned up enough energy to get up to take a looksee, what I saw was a huge fire on the hill opposite, it looked like a couple of houses on fire I reckoned. Not sure if the noises had anything to do with the fire, probably the UFOs had photon-torpedoed the favela on the hill.

22nd November 2007

Second Alcohol-Free night in a row. But jiggins if I'm not thinking a bottle of fermented grape would go down mighty fine right now.

Well Bugger my .... well maybe not.

I suddenly find myself with hours of free time, MOST of Monday afternoon, MOST of Tuesday afternoon and MOST of Thursday afternoon, I'm sat at home wondering what to do. Writing on this blog doesn't seem to be making me any money. I need more work!
I'm in the Grip of a Gripe (rhymes with yippee! not tripe, my Portuguese speaking readers will know what I'm talking about), I'm dosing myself up with the hot lemon, garlic and honey mix, still nothing stronger to add though unfortunately.
A long period of nothing to do this afternoon induced me into a spot of naked sunbathing on my terrace, I burn very easily so I didn't spend too long out there, can't be done to have burnt privates, or generals for that matter. The warm sun over the entire body sure beats the feeling of clingy material in the hot weather.
The summers of childhood in Aberbachgenbach.
All the boyos from the pit would scrub their faces white, revealing the pock marks (from learning to eat with a fork), we'd get on the charabanc early Saturday morning to spend the day down the seaside town of Llancunty.
Llancunty, town of a Thousand Soles.



A couple hundred haddock.



And a halibut named Jeremy.

Time to spend a little time with Mary Ann Evans.

Well Squeeze my Lemons if I'm not running out of daft ejaculations (OOOEERR!)

TONIGHT is my first alcohol free night for weeks, I think the last time was when I forgot to pop into the super-duper on the way home and couldn't be arsed to go out again once ensconced at my abode. Tonight, I suspect due to the onset of a cold, I didn't get that really-looking-forward-to-a-cold-beer-when-I-get-home feeling (I hesitate to use 'craving' for fear of sounding like an alky). My usually remedy is to squeeze a lemon into a mug, add hot water, honey, garlic and top up with brandy, however my brandy optic's empty (the Good Lady has a penchant), hence I had to do with the non-alcoholic version. Thus the alcohol-free night.

Well Smash my Pumkins if THIS doesn't need a title as well

Here's a story about Brazilian immigrants in Japan, this caught my eye:


But rows over things like loud music, parking spaces and rubbish are daily causes of friction. "Their culture and customs are different," says Ms Murakami. "Japan has various rules and they don't know the rules, so this leads to tensions."

The Japanese probably have the same kind of discipline as the Anglo-Saxons when it comes to parking, i.e. park in neat STRAIGHT rows, BETWEEN and equidistant from each of the delimiting lines, as opposed to the leave-your-car-where-it-stops attitude of a lot of Brazilians, thus effectively limiting the
adjacent space or even using up two spaces. I think us Celts have been so dominated by the Saeson over the few hundred years that we've adopted the same attitudes, at least I can never remember seeing a wonkily parked car in Aberbachgenbach.

I'm finding Middlemarch a pleasant read; like most Victorian novels it's chugging along at a steady rate, family matters, is young Miss Pumplewinkie suitable to marry Mr. Shlartinfrump, etcetera, etcetera, with sex and drugs and rock and roll just under the surface.

[Mr. Ladislaw] was not excessively fond of wine, but he had several times taken too much, simply as an experiment in that form of ecstasy (...) he had made himself ill with doses of opium.

Mr. Ladislaw should also try BEER as a form of ecstasy and perhaps smoke some weeed instead of that opium crap. Yes, Helô, I know, wine works just as fine, but you can't beat beer with a big stick when it comes to hot summer days.

As I have now seen The Secret, I just know I'm going to have LOADSA DOSH! During the summer months. As a consequence of this totally expected, but I don't know the fuck
how, sudden immense wealth, I and the good lady shall be jetting off to a secluded Carribbean isle. Or perhaps we'll go camping somewhere in the hills near PoA. Maybe Colina do Sol.

SEE what happens
when you start buggering about with the font size??


This Post Needs a Title

Jolly Spiffin! Another holiday tomorrow. Well it would be Jolly Spiffin if I could still get the same dosh, being self-employed however, I don't have that privilege. Still, it's nice to have a lie-in and to be able to Psht! (sound of gas escaping rapidly whilst bottle cap is removed), and say "Bar's Open!" at around 11.15 am. I miss the old beach sometimes, it was Psht! Bar's Open! at around 9 am when at the beach.

Despite the lack of study in the field of poetry fuck up, I still hold a faint hope of being called for the Master's selection interview, optimistic creeture that I am. My question now is, what am I going to concentrate on for a dissertation? I thought about something on Dylan Thomas, I love Under Milk Wood (Get THAT on yer list Helô!). Whatever, now I'm free of obligatory reading, I'm getting around to other stuff and I'm starting with Middlemarch and Kant's Critique of Pure Reason (actually, A Commentary on... ), the former because it's been in my collection staring at me for years and yearning to be read and the latter because I'm doing a long-term accompanied translation (meaning accompanied by the author himself, er...not Kant) of an essay on the subject. Mightily interesting stuff but blastidely complicated.


Horrocks, I've drunk a litre of vile red wine and I'm off to bed.

HA ! The master's degree selection test was a DOODLE! HO! could've dun it with eyes closed, would've been a mess though, heckish swiggly writing.

Okay okay, it wasn't so freaking easy of course, blast me for a pumpkin if I didn't miss one whole question - compare poems of Manuel Bandeira, Cecilia Meireles and João Cabral de Melo Neto. and I know funkins about those three (should've read up yeah!). First two questions not too bad though, hope my written Portuguese holds up. Third question, I bullshronkled a lot about Oedipus, just wrote and wrote about all the stuff that was in my final paper. Not sure if it really answered the question though.

A dear friend of mine has a blog and a blog and a blog and a blog. Please read, it's far more interesting than my crap.

Amongst the oddities that I found while browsing the BBC site is a man who, after being on a trip to Sri Lanka and being sucked by leeches, was so weak he "could only eat corned beef and lettuce for months", I find that bizarrely amusing , I mean why corned beef for freaks sake? It's a good job this didn't happen in the early 80s when Argentinean corned beef was boycotted because of the Falklands business.
Not an oddity but something that makes me exceedingly annoyed is that one Chief Superintendent Geraint Anwyl Williams (I wonder if he's Welsh?) wants to ban motorbikes from the national parks after an accident which killed two bikers in Gwynedd, my question is, if there were an accident involving cars in which people were killed, would he call for the banning of cars? Of course not, he's an obvious arsehole.
Back in the suburb of Cristal in the Gaúcho city of Porto Alegre, mosquito season has arrived judging from the sudden itchy zitchy feeling I'm getting on my legs right now. It's 2030 hrs, on my left, as I look out beyond the terrace, the sun has already sunk below the horizon and there's a dark orangy glow, fading upwards into a microsoft blue and Venus is conspicuous by her absence, gubbins if I know where the blasted thing should be at this time of year, it's usually just right over there somewhere.

Venus, Venus
The size of my
Heart.

HWYL FAWR!

Friggin test is the day after the day after tomorrow.
WHO is the new leader of China?