The Dickwick Papers OR A Tale of Two Titties OR...










I TYPED "fucking weird stuff" in the address bar of my Mozilla Firefox navigator and it came back with a page on the Wizard of Oz!

HERE ARE SOME BEAUTIFUL LINES:
"She touched his organ, and from that bright epoch, even it, the old companion of his happiest hours, incapable as he had thought of elevation, began a new and deified existence.".
None other than Charles Dickens! Move over D.H. Lawrence.

SO WHILE ON CHARLES I did some delving and found some other gems:

"The sergeant was describing a military life. It was all drinking, he said, except that there were frequent intervals of eating and love making."

I, having served 11 years in Her Majesties Daft and Barmy, couldn't agree more.

"A person who can't pay gets another person who can't pay to guarantee that he can pay. Like a person with two wooden legs getting another person with two wooden legs to guarantee that he has got two natural legs. It don't make either of them able to do a walking-match."

Sounds like Brazilian negociations.

"Bring in the bottled lightning, a clean tumbler, and a corkscrew."

At once!

"Well, then, when you tumbled upstairs, I was romping with the girls. In point of fact, we were playing at Puss in the Corner."

This followed by Hide the Sausage no doubt.

Victorian London was such larks!

I wonder if my organ will begin a new and deified existence tonight.

Barkis is Willing!

An inspireutron (that's one of them quantum physics particles that come from outa there somewhence, this one inspires) hit me yesternight, it pierced right through my brain lobes, or it may have been the beer, anyways check this out, as I observed the end of day potential storm:

the wind sucked with a mighty force (for who are we to question whether wind sucks or blows, if you've ever been out on a really windy day, you will conclude - wind SUCKS!), SUCKED with such a might force that the two fig palms, silhouetted black-gray against the blackgray night (OH Please!) undulated together like two gigantenormous starfish SHAGGING, do starfish shag? on a blackgray beach.
Try as it might, it didn't rain, the blackgray (OKAY THAT'S IT!) night Zipped and Zapped like some huge great Zippy Zappy thing; when I looked down it seemed to Zip and Zap more as if to try and attract my attention though I saw but one big Zap right infront. Not one Zip did I see.
Accompanying the Zipping and Zapping were rumblings that sounded like my innards an hour or so after curried beans.

AT THIS POINT I went to bed. And still it didn't rain. When does the next Nobel for Literature come up?

HEY, IF SHAKESPEARE was so brilliant, how come he didn't win a Nobel for Literature EH?

BONUS POINTS if anyone can recognise my posting titles.
JUST LEAVE a message.

Summer Time and the Living is

IESU GRIST! but it's friggin' hot today.
So what's been going on...

SUNDAY 2006 1st JAN, had a relationship crisis. The Good Lady asked for some "time off", I took that as a message but since then (principally because of a wonderful conversation with the GL herself) I've realized that our relationship is in fact stronger than ever and the "time off" is just that. We all need our time off.

I'VE TAKEN UP my Irish Tin Whisle and started to blow and PEEEEEP away again, it's a beautiful little instrument - in fact I've got three of them, each one has a distinct sound - at the mo I'm trying to learn "A Fig for a Kiss", an Irish jiggy reely thing. I can't help wondering if my neighbours are getting pissed off but according to my friend Sergio, a professional musician and Highland Pipes player, in order to practice and perfect one shouldn't be concerned about neighbours. I wonder what HIS neighbours think of him and the bagpipes?!

AS I MENTIONED right there at the top, it's been jolly hot today, a marvelous build up to a summer storm which happened just now. I couldn't resist going out onto the terrace into the pouring rain, dressed only in a pair of short shorts, wonderful feeling - didn't quite have the courage to strip completely though I would've loved too, if the GL had been here she would've perhaps encouraged such outrageous behavior.

I'VE JUST RUN OUT OF BEER!!
I'm away down the corner shop


FUCKING HOT AND STUFFY.
and a ice cold beer helps