KAMA WASIKILIZA SANA UTAWEZA KUSIKIA KIFARU KUFANYA KELELE!

I CADGED from me old dad some years ago, as an Item of Interest, a small book, first printed 1936, this edition (14th) 1958, entitled, "Up-country Swahili", (Jinkin's knows where my pops got it from and WHY for that matter). The author, in his intro, says: "To the ordinary up-country native, Swahili is a foreign language, of which he possesses only a very limited knowledge. This book aims at teaching, in a simple way, just that degree of Swahili that is understood and talked by the average intelligent up-country native."

It's laid out in such a manner of the classic language learning style, i.e. sections of grammar and vocabulary followed by translation excercises.

This is where the funny part starts. Again, like traditional language learning, it's pure translation. Lists of separate "useful" phrases with no apparent connection between them. So what phrases can be useful for the "settler, miner, businessman, or wife" (read, "oppressive, tyranical, domineering colonizer"), in colonial East Africa in the 30s to 50s?

Washenzi weusi. - The savages are black.
Ninakupiga. - I am hitting you.
Safisha viatu yangu mara moja! - Clean my boots at once!
Mimi naogopa nyoka, funga milango. - I am afraid of snakes, fasten the door.
Huyu mchawi, ona chura katika kifuko yake! - That man is a witch-doctor, see the frog in his pocket! (I JEST NOT LADIES AND GENTS!)
BOY! tengeneza bafu yangu, na hapana kutia maji ya moto tele sawasawa ulifanya jana, napenda moto, lakini hapana moto sana. - BOY! Get my bath ready, and don't put in as much hot water as you did yesterday, I like it hot, but not too hot.
Mpishi anapiga muchawi. - The cook is beating the witch-doctor.
Napiga mulevi na miti. - I am hitting the drunkard with a stick. (PLEASE! I AM NOT JOKING!)
Choo inajaa ya kiroboto. - The latrine is full of fleas. (NO! PLEASE ENOUGH! ENOUGH!)

Perhaps more later?