dRUNK GerMan Guy in BEER ADvert


As the Welsh consul and cultural attaché I get invited to a lot of the ambassadorial events in PoA, actually it's just a matter of us gringos getting together, doing a barbie and drinking vast quantities of FBAs all paid for by HM's Gov, George W, or Kim Jong-il. Actually it was the latter who financed the last one at the luxury pad on Guarujá Hill overlooking the lake and untouchable sun-set. And the question came up of course of whether my government would be adopting a nuclear policy and "Flankly mister Alan, in your country, have you got big bums?" took me a while to figure that he meant big BOMBS; this was after I'd expounded for about five minutes about the girls of Aberdare, much to his confusion. After sorting the communication problem out, that took another few FBAs, we came to the conclusion that Brazil is probably the best place on earth to live. No scary bomb stuff, no George W or Tony.
Then I reminded everyone of the politicians here. AH yes...well. Second round of the general election's coming up. Nobody's quite sure who to vote for, Lula, whose government has seen more corruption than...than...well... than a Brazilian government? ...in the past few months, or someone who no-one at all seems to like, at least no-one I've spoken to. 29th October, don't hold your breasts...oops I mean BREATH! BREATH!

By the way, I told him Wales have the biggest nuclear arsenal in Europe and that that is the reason why England haven't invaded us again since the 13th Century and that they went over to Iraq not to face a home embarrassment. He believed me.

It's such fun driving in PoA. The PoA adult motorist has not yet grasped the basic concepts of traffic flow, traffic lights and car indicators. There's a stretch of road on the way to my home where at one point there's one of those speed trap thingies that flashes, up when you pass, the speed you're going at, if you go over the limit, 40kph, you're photographed and fined (there is actually a 10% tollerance) soon after, the straight continues and the limit is 60kph and there is no speed trap of any sort. The PoA motorist, when passing the speed trap 40kph limit slows down for about 300 metres to 15-20 kph. As soon as they pass the trap, where the limit is 60 kph, they speed up to 80-100 kph. Do your maths guys, YOU'LL GET HOME AT THE SAME TIME!!!